take it like a W H O R E (ashton)

[PETER WALKER]

Ashton's mood swings were starting to give Peter whiplash. When he had first signed onto the chat it seemed like Ashton was in a bad mood. That was the only time that Ashton had seriously just made Peter want to not talk to him for a little bit. For the majority of the day Peter had thought about how Ashton compared sex that night to walking over him. Then they had gotten into whether Peter would do it again if drugs were not present. Peter had answered that a little too quickly. But he had already known the answer. It was Ashton's question about whether or not it made him feel like crap. Peter figured that was the best time to go take a shower. He didn't know how to answer that question. That night had made Peter feel like he was floating on air, but afterwards, when he realized that it meant nothing to Ashton...well, that part had made him feel like crap.

Hobo stood on the end of Peter's bed, watching Peter rush to get dressed. It wasn't like Peter needed to look amazing or anything. He just didn't think Ashton wanted him to wear his PJs down to his room. But in the middle of his rush Peter stipped, calmed his mind down, and glanced to Hobo. "I look fine, don't I?" He asked the puppy. "I mean, sweat pants are comfortable, smiley boxers are always a must, and The Beatles are legends!" Peter groaned as he stomped toward his bathroom. There he went assuming that Ashton would even get to see his boxers. With how back and forth their conversations had been there would be no telling whether Ashton would be even close to the same mood as he was in before when he had asked Peter to come entertain him.

Peter stopped in front of the mirror and glared at himself. He then made a face like he was about to growl at the mirror. Great, nothing in his teeth. It still wouldn't hurt to brush them just in case. He still had a little time from when he told Ashton he would be there. Peter brushed his teeth and moved back into the main room. He looked at Hobo with a smile. "You ready little buddy?" He asked. Hobo tilted his head before barking at Peter. Peter laughed and picked Hobo up, placing a kiss on the dog's head. He walked toward the door, grabbing Eleanor and stepping out. As the door shut behind him Peter was on his way. For some reason it didn't seem like he was really going to see Ashton. Actually, Peter wondered if Ashton had been kidnapped and replaced with a flirtier, nicer version.

As Peter walked, passing each room number, he wondered what new things Ashton could want to show him. Peter was just naive enough to think that the new things probably had nothing to do with sex. That would be something Ashton would do. It seemed totally like Ashton to lead Peter into thinking that the 'new things' had something to do with the biting conversation, then completely switch it. Peter didn't think Ashton would ever have sex with him again. He was now sure that it was only a one time thing, though it was a little hurtful to think that. He had been so determined afterward to prove that it wasn't a one time thing... that Ashton didn't think it was totally meaningless. But Peter had to eventually come to terms with the fact that Ashton was drunk that night and probably didn't feel a thing.

But Peter was good at denial, if anything. Peter looked down at Hobo, thinking about what might happen after he played the song that was too personal to play in front of an audience... if he ended up playing it. The song was about Peter's past, though he had done his best to lace up the lyrics so that it was a little harder to tell. It was difficult for Peter to write the song thinking about his drunk/abusive father, neglectful mother, and cheating boy friend, but he had managed it. Peter wasn't one for constantly sharing his past. He didn't like to talk about it and it was pretty hard for him to sit there and sing about it. But Peter felt like it was about time his lyrics reflected something that he was sure about.

Peter finally arrived at room number 20. He bit his lip, wondering if it was a good idea to do this or not. He had never been in Ashton's room. That would be a new territory for him. Finally fighting off his fears Peter proped Eleanor against the wall in the hallway and knocked on Ashton's door.

[ASHTON JOHNSON]

<sup>What was he doing? Why did he just have him come over? Ashton could not stop the questions nagging his mind. Ever since he closed out hed been questioning why he was doing this. So far all he could conclude was that the chat box was evil and made him do stupid things. Granted most of it was because he was usually high when he was on there and if he wasnt before he got on, he was usually smoking a joint while he was on. Hed had people told him he was an addict but he didnt really think so. Yeah okay so he got high a lot, but its not like he needed it... okay so maybe he hasnt really gone a full day without getting high and its gotten worse ever since this whole Peter thing. It just helps and he can never seem to wrap his mind around things and instead it goes all haywire. THe only way for him to calm it down is to light up a joint.

The only problem was that he was more okay with saying things and that is what led him to now. He usually remembered what he said and did whether he was high or drunk or both, something he calls a curse. It was so much easier if he couldnt remember, but he did. He always remembered the things he would say to Peter, the confusion hes almost voiced to him. He really needed to stop, but it was either that or it was having his mind going a hundred miles an hour trying to figure out what was going on with him and why this whole Peter thing wouldnt stop invading his mind.

Tonight hed been plagued, he knew hed taken it out on Peter and figured it was best to cool down. Of course when Peter got back he was well on his way and wanted to play. He would be lying if he said he hadnt dreamt about that night a time or two and one of those nights had been the night before. His body wanted a repeat performance, though it wanted to be able to experience it without being laxed by alcohol. Ashton couldnt say the same for his mind. His head was telling him it was a bad bad idea, but his body rarely ever listened to his head, and nor did his mouth half of the time.

Ashton paced his room. He knew his high was running off, because his mind was going again. He had almost told him to keep Hobo at his place, thats what his body would have preferred because he seriously wanted to just push him against the wall, or on the bed, or.. anywhere that he could and have another go. Of course his mind caught up before he could let that happen. Maybe Hobo Would be a good distraction for him. Something to keep him from saying or doing stupid shit while Peter was here.

Again! Ashton stopped and looked at his room. Peter was coming here. To his room. That was just insane. He never let anyone over, this was his place, his santuary. His! WHy had he told him to come over. He should have just gone over there. It would have been easier and Hobo would have been there already. Fuck what was he thinking! Ashton blinked again and ran a hand through his hair. It was alittle unruly and curling more then usual because he didnt blow dry it after he got out of the shower. Licking his lips he started fixing the comforter. It wasnt even messy, but he just had the need to fix up. What did he care? Ashton stopped, frowning. This was his place he didnt have to cater to anyone.

Though even as he said that he moved over to his desk and started putting things in drawers. His room was nicely kept. Things were even everything seemed to be organized and lined up. His OCD was worse when he was bored, and he got bored a lot. He went into the bathroom to make sure everything was okay and stopped looking at the mirror. Normally he didnt look in mirrors, what did he care. He always looked the same, brown hair brown eyes, young face and far far too skinny. He scrunched his nose up and turned away smoothing his hand over the front of his black t-shirt. It was only Peter. Hed had sex with him already and the guy was coming over still so he was pretty sure he didnt have to make himself look nice.

Regardless of that fact he found himself looking over his dark blue jeans and then shrugging figuring he looked okay enough. He seriously had no idea why he was worrying so. God he needed a hit. He moved over to his drawers to rummage through to find one of his joints hed hidden for emergencies. He found it, taking a deep breath. Placing it between his lips he was just about to light it when someone knocked on the door. He stilled and blinked, his hands in mid-air.

He heard the knock again and looked around again. Pulling the joint from between his lips he threw it back in the drawer. Fuck it, he could handle this. He could do this, he didnt need drugs. He would just have to be strict with himself and try to not thinking about what ran through his head.

He closed his eyes for a brief moment to calm himself. He was making a huge deal over nothing. He was never like this, not when it came to another person. His family had been a nother matter and his worries had been different. Once he had taken a couple breaths he headed over to the door, opening it casually.

"Hey...' he opened it, his eyes practically going to Hobo immediately but not before doing a quick look over Peter.
Damn even in sweats and a t-shirt he looked good. No! HOBO! HOBO! HOBO!

Ashtons eyes lit up as he reached out to take Hobo into his arms that grin on his face that he only got whenever he saw Hobo. "Hey hobes' he smirked and scratched behind his ears as he stepped back a little so Peter could come in as he held the door with his body. "How you been? Behaving I Hope. he gave a small laugh. "Yeah right. as if yhou do anything other then sleep and sniff around... and play. THough even if you were naughty you just flash us with those big puppy dog eyes of yours.. he shook his head and then nuzzled his nose against his ear before pulling back and closing the door after Peter.</sup>

[PETER WALKER]

Peter was actually glad that it was taking Ashton a minute to open the door. It gave him a little time to think about what he was doing. Coming to Ashton's room couldn't have been a good idea. Now that Peter really thought about it... he was putting himself in an awkward position. It was already hard enough for him to NOT think about touching Ashton. Now he was going to be in a new territory and it was a tempting one in so many ways. Peter thought about what Ashton had said about walking all over him. The sad thing was that though Peter didn't want to think of Ashton walking all over him... Peter would let him walk all over him as much as he wanted to. He didn't want to think that his feelings were getting that strong, though. If his feelings were that strong then there was more of a chance of getting hurt.

Keeping his eyes trained on the knob, Peter's stomach twisted as he saw it turn. When the door opened Peter looked up, sporting a smile despite the butterflies gnawing at his stomach. Why was he so nervous? It wasn't like this was the first time he would be spending time with Ashton alone. Most of the time they were alone and hell, he had already slept with Ashton once... why the nerves? Peter couldn't figure it out. He managed to breath a, "Hey." He was glad that Ashton seemed to immediately hone in on Hobo. That made things a lot easier. At the same time it was a little disappointing that he wasn't getting any attention from Ashton. Wait- what was he? Certainly not an attention whore.

Peter walked into the room after grabbing Eleanor, looking around as the arm that Hobo had been in dropped to his side. It was so clean. Peter didn't think his room would ever look as organized as Ashton's did. He smiled as he listened to Ashton talk to Hobo. When he asked Hobo if he had been behaving Peter thought about interrupting and asking if Ashton meant him or the dog. But Peter refrained from making any comments. He wanted Ashton to have his time with Hobo, uninterrupted. Peter wasn't sure how 'at home' he should make himself. He leaned Eleanore against the wall before sitting on the edge of the bed and looking up. Ashton definitely knew how to keep a room clean. It smelled like marijuana, but what else was to be expected? Glade? No way. They don't make Glade scented for potheads.

When Ashton shut the door, Peter bit his lower lip slightly. Peter couldn't even remember why Ashton had invited him over. He could remember why he wanted to come... but that was probably nowhere in the ball park with what Ashton wanted him to come over for. "So, um..." Peter didn't know where to start or what to say. "Your room is really clean." He commented. Peter mentally slapped himself for making such a lame commented. He fell back on Ashton's bed, placing his hands behind his head. Peter could feel the air against his sking here his shirt rose above the waist line of his sweatpants. He closed his eyes, relaxing a little. There was nothing to worry about. It wasn't like the tables were turned since it was Ashton's room.

[ASHTON JOHNSON]

<sup>Ashton watched him out of the corner of his eyes as he pet Hobo. Ashton stroked his hand down Hobos back as Peter sat down on his bed. He tensed up a bit, but mostly because that was his bed and the only one that was ever in his bed was him. He bit his lip and put his full attention on Hobo.

Hobo looked like he was content to fall asleep on his shoulder. With a small sigh and a roll of his eyes he smirked. 'Why do you always get him when hes active..' he mused a bit and then glanced around self conciously as he commentedon the cleanliness of his room. Oh.. uh.. yeah... guess so..' he shrugged again. Ashton rarely ever thought of that stuff unless he was doing it that moment.

I guess.. I just havent ... done much since I cleaned it.' he licked his lips. He was well aware of how much of a freak he was. He was just happy that it wasnt as bad as it used to be. It had been near unbearable before. Ashton could actually tolerate it now for the most part and he was glad that Peter didnt have to witness it. Then again why did he care, why was he even wasting his time bugging about this crap.

Ashton looked up as Peter layed down on his bed, his eyes instantly going to the strip of skin that was exposed. His eyes darkened and he bit his lip forcing himself to look away as he squeezed his eyes shut.

Focus on Hobo... Focus on Hobo.

Now you've done it. You invited him over, you know what you want

Just chilling.. not listening to you.... Hobo... Hobo

What are you still doing hogging all over the dog, hog all over him.

Thats done and over with, Im invited him over for Hobo....

LIAR!!!! LIAR! LIAR!!

Ashton opened his eyes and looked back over at Peter. He had his eyes closed. Ashton moved over to the side of the bed, hugging Hobo to him, up to his chin he burried his face up to his nose into his neck as he let his eyes wander over Peter. They lingered on the creamy skin that was explosed from his shirt riding up. He remembered things from that night, but he couldnt remember the feel of his skin or the taste of it. His body and tongue had been a little numb.

Ashtons teeth dug futher into his lip and he could taste the tinny taste of blood on his tongue, but he still couldnt look away. His hands itched to reach out and touch. He knew why hed invited him over. He couldnt be drunk, he couldnt be high, it just wasnt working out for him. Subconciously he knew. He had to do this sober, completely. Nothing fogging his mind and body. Maybe then he could get all these thoughts to stop, all these urges out of his system.

His eyes moved up his body again to his face. He had one of those faces that you could look at all day and still find things about it you hadnt noticed before. He was very attractive. It surprised him that he wasnt already with someone... or that he even wasted his time with him. Attractive and talented. What the fuck? Before he knew it, his cold hand was touching the warm exposed skin just below his shirt. Ashtons eyes snapped to his hand and he was almost mesmerized by the contrast of his handon Peters skin. Swallowing hard he snatched his hand back trying to think of some excuse as quickly as possible as to why he had touched him.</sup>

[PETER WALKER]

Peter was gradually getting used to the feeling of Ashton's room. It wasn't uncomfortable anymore and he was sure that he actually liked how clean it was. At least Ashton could probably find things easier. Peter's room usually had random papers strolled about the floor. He knew each and every one of the papers by heart. If someone were to reach down and pick one up Peter could tell them exactly which part he messed up on. Stuff like that Peter could remember, but ask him where the remote for the TV was and he would be totally clueless about it. Something about Ashton's room seemed oddly relaxing after he got over the feeling of being in a new place. It was almost too easy for Peter to let his mind wonder away from the situation that he was actually in. He had to think about what he was doing. If he didn’t, the something would happen and once again Peter would be stuck letting someone walk all over him. Watching Ashton pet Hobo, Peter let his thoughts settle. Maybe nothing would happen. Besides, it was possible for guys to hang out together without there being sexual tension in the air. He could hang around Taylor all day and not even once think about sex. But as soon as Ashton was in the picture it was like Peter constantly wondered if it would be the same if Ashton were sober or if it would be better.

Ashton made a comment about Peter always having Hobo when he was active. Peter laughed, "He's not always active, trust me. For some reason his favorite place to sleep is on poor Eleanor." Peter was surprised that he had never chided the dog for it. But he didn't care as long as Hobo didn't HURT Eleanor... then Peter might have some problems. That was the only reason Peter never took Eleanor to Taylor’s room anymore. The cats liked to view Eleanor as a scratching post. When the conversation switched to the cleanliness of Ashton’s room, Peter could feel it starting to get pretty awkward. He smiled, relaxing a little more. “I like it.” Peter said “I don’t think I could imagine it any other way.” Slowly Peter began to put the pieces together. The day Peter had first seen Ashton he had been putting magazines in order on a table. Judging by how clean the boy’s room was, Peter guess that Ashton had a touch of OCD. Peter felt bad for screwing up the magazines that first day. He could only imagine how annoyed Ashton must have been with him for doing that. A part of Peter wanted to apologize for that, but he didn’t think it would matter since that had been a while back.

Peter was so relaxed, having his eyes closed and lying back on the bed. He’d have to be careful so that he didn’t fall asleep. Lately Peter had been sleeping odd hours. Sometimes he would stay up until four or five in the morning writing and playing, and then he would finally cash in five or five thirty. It was the reason Peter always asked people not to come over until around three or four in the afternoon. Peter found it easier to work early in the morning. He wasn’t sure why, but he knew that he felt a lot more level headed. It didn’t make much sense for Peter to do that, and he would have to get used to a different sort of sleep schedule. He wouldn’t want to end up sleeping through his first on stage performance. That would really suck. But Peter didn’t want to open his eyes. He knew that at least in dreams he could get what he wanted. As relaxing a thought it was… it didn’t change the fact that Peter knew he needed to face reality. He needed to open his eyes and look at Ashton like he didn’t want what he wanted. It would be a difficult task, but Peter was sure that he could manage it if he really tried.

When Peter felt something touch his skin his eyes naturally opened quickly. He saw Ashton pulling his hand away. What? Peter hadn’t expected that kind of action. Peter partially sat up, to where he was simply propped up on his elbows. Did he even need to ask? There weren’t many ways to ask someone why they had touched your revealed skin. He tilted his head, staying silent for a moment. He finally sat all the way up and turned so that he was facing Ashton. Peter still wasn’t sure about what to do or how to react. There were so many possibilities. He could brush it off like Ashton hadn’t just touched his bare skin, he could make a big deal about it, or he could react. Reacting sounded like the better option, but Peter didn’t want to be sure of that quite yet. Taking a moment to study Ashton’s face, Peter tried to draw in a deep breath, only to find that he was already holding his breath. He stood and did something he had been itching to do for a little while. Peter reached out with his left hand, placing it on Ashton’s waist, fingers curling into the fabric of his clothing.

Instead of pulling Ashton to him, Peter stepped closer, careful to lean over Hobo rather than against. He had to reach, but he eventually made landing, pressing his lips against Ashton’s. But Peter didn’t linger there. The kiss was as quick as Ashton removing his hand. Peter then dropped his hand from Ashton’s waist and stepped away. “Maybe I should go?” He said against his own will. The words came out as more of a question than anything. Peter didn’t WANT to go, but he feared that he had just screwed up the whole thing right then. He was convinced that Ashton would never invite him back over to his room. Just once Peter wanted a kiss that wasn’t given out of drunkenness. This first kiss they had shared was the only one that hadn’t been laced with the taste of alcohol. He was actually relieved that he could now just memorize how Ashton’s lips felt against his and think about that. The thought caught Peter off guard. He leaned against the wall, away from Ashton, trying to figure out his own thoughts. It just wasn’t normal for him to think that way.

[ASHTON JOHNSON]

<sup>AShtons eyes widened when he said that Hobo liked to sleep on Eleanore. He looked from Peter to Hobo. "wow.. you really are a special guy. he smirked. Usually Peter doesnt let that happen.. he pet Hobo, running his fingers over the soft fur.

Ashton licked his lips and nodded. Hmm... okay... he really didnt know what to say. He didnt expect him to like it or not. Its not like Peter had to live there, it was just him so he was what mattered. THe fact that Peter actually didnt mind it, but liked it still made him feel better even if he shouldnt care. He burried his nose in Hobo again keeping his eyes from looking at Peter.

When he snatched his hand back he looked over at Peter, his face amazingly blank now as he waited for his reaction. He opened his mouth for a second then closed it, nothing coming out. He swallowed as his eyes followed the movement of Peter. The way he looked at him as he sat up. He expected questions, but Peter said nothing. He wanted him to ask only so he could get past this awkward feeling of wondering what he planned on doing.

As Peter moved to face him, still not asking, Ashton was actually getting nervous. He didnt know what he was going to do, what to expect and he really should not be nervous. This was nothing. But yet it was a lot of things. This was Peter and that alone was more then it should have been, but it was. Ashton gripped Hobo tighter, not enough to hurt him, but almost as if holding him closer would some how keep whatever was going to happen, from happening.

As Peter stood up, Ashtons body hummed, his mind keeping him still even though his body wanted to move into Peters. He could see it in Peters eyes. Knew what was going to come, but he made no move to stop it. Ashtons tongue darted out to wet his lips, his breathing stopping almost completely as his throat felt as if it was swelling up. This was so different from those other times. For one he wasnt drunk or high and he knew it was going to happen. The last time hed seen Peter there had been an almost instance, but it never happened. THis time Ashton wasnt stopping it and Peter definitly wasnt.

He felt his hand curl onto his waist and his body nearly jerked from it, but he didnt. It was almost as if it was in slow motion, taunting Ashton to put a halt to it, but he wasnt going to. Even though part of him was hoping Hobo would be a buffer the other part was wishing Hobo wasnt between them and that part let Peter Lean in and kiss him. The kiss was far too quick for Ashton. He had expected or maybe he had been hoping for something more. Instead it was over so fast Ashton wondered if it had even happened.

Ashton blinked as Peter moved away from him, the spot where his hand had burned through his shirt was left tingling and wanting it back. Ashton opened his mouth to tell him that it was probably best but no sound came out again and instead ofl ooking like an idiot he closed it again. His brows furrowed and he frowned. For as breif as it was, it also had felt really good and he wanted more. Though this time he wanted it to last longer.

He growled, frustrated as he set Hobo down and turned back to Peter. He couldnt control his body right now, it had been lingering for far too long and now after that it wasnt going to let Ashton push Peter out right now. He grabbed a hold of his shirt and pulled him against him his mouth fitting against his again. In the back of his mind he wanted to tell himself this was a big mistake, but that voice was so small right now.</sup>

[PETER WALKER]

How could Peter not smile at Ashton's reaction to Hobo sleeping on Eleanor? Even Ashton seemed to know how important his guitar was to him. Peter chuckled softly, "He's a lucky little guy." He turned his attention to Hobo, "You know it, Hobo, you get away with everything." That was mostly because like Ashton said... Peter was a bit of a pushover. People walked all over Peter most of the time because he could be a bit too trusting and forgiving. If people did things that annoyed him, then he wouldn't ask them not to do it. Peter was more likely to give in to things rather than to fight against them. The last good example Peter could think of was the night he had slept with Ashton. Not that Peter thought Ashton did the dirty work in that one. Peter blamed himself just as much for allowing himself to take advantage of Ashton. He promised himself that would never happen.

It seemed like it had been so long since Ashton had really touched him. Peter felt like he was recieving special treatment. The last touch they had was the almost kiss that had happened in Peter's room. Even that seemed to be, well, Peter wasn't too sure. But this time Ashton willingly touched him. It wasn't caused by any leaning over or accidental turning of heads or drunkenness. This time it felt more real. He could feel his skin practically burning where Ashton had touched it. No one had ever been able to cause that feeling. Well, there was one, but he was so far away from Peter's thoughts that it was like Alex had never existed. This was what Ashton did to Peter. He brought him into a completely different reality where no one existed but the two of them and Hobo. That was all Peter felt like he needed right then other than his friends, of course, because Peter would never leave them out.

Peter wasn't all that sure that he should have kissed Ashton. He knew that it might be crossing a line that he wasn't ready to cross again. Peter oculd think constantly about kissing Ashton, touching Ashton, or even sex with Ashton, but he wasn't sure if he was ready to just jump right back into those things without even thinking. There was so much Peter needed to think about. He needed to figure out what he really felt. Peter was sure that whatever it was that he felt for Ashton... it was different than anything he had ever felt in his life. Inhaling as he leaned against the wall, Peter had to rationalize things in his head. Taking things too fast with Ashton could be dangerous. Peter was naturally wary of relationships. Most of the time it wasn't even his own he worried about. He worried about Cait being with Malachi and he worried that Taylor might form some unnatural attraction to a potential murderer.

But Peter placed his hand on Eleanor, thinking that he could at least force himself to leave if he tried hard enough. As much as Peter was sure that he needed to get out... he knew that he didn't want to leave yet. A part of Peter needed to know how Ashton would react to his kiss. Time... Peter just needed a little bit of time. But Everything happened so quickly. Just when Peter was about ready to leave Ashton's room he looked up to see Ashton putting Hobo down. Before Peter had time to react Ashton was pulling him by his shirt into another kiss. Peter was thrilled. A part of him was freightened to death, but he ran with it anyway. He wanted it too much to just give in right then and there.

Peter returned the kiss, enjoying how Ashton's lips seemed to fit perfectly against his. The taste... god... Ashton tasted amazing. If Peter weren't careful, he knew it was a taste that he could easily get addicted to. Peter raised his left hand to brush a few stands of Ashton's hair back before it finally rested on the boy's cheek. His right arm naturally slid around Ashton's back, closing in any distance that may have remained between the two of them. Distance was unacceptable. Peter needed to be close to Ashton, to touch him, kiss him... he wasn't sure where this was coming from.

[ASHTON JOHNSON]

<sup>Ashton wasnt sure what to expect, not like this anyway. His lips tingled, the knowledge of how well Peters lips fit to his own was undeniable. He felt Peters hand brush his hair back and then rest on his cheek. To be honest this was the nicest anyone has ever actually treated him when he and the other person were both sober. There was something different about Peters touch that made it that much better than anyone elses touch.

Ashtons hands loosened from its hold and then slid down to grip Peters waist as Peter closed the last of the space between them. He could feel Peters warmth through his shirt and his fingers tightened a bit on his hips as the thought of needing their shirts off entered his brain.

Ashton nibbled a bit on his lips. They were so full it was impossible not to do that. He slid his tongue over them and pressed even more against his lips as he walked him back the short distance to the wall, pressing even more into his body then he could have before without the support. Ashton made a sound cross between a relieved sigh and a satisfied groan.

Ashton still couldnt figure out what it was about Peter that got him so messed up about. He shouldnt feel so .. uncontrolled like this. It wasnt right. Ashton seriously hated feeling like he wasnt in control, granted this was a different type of control, but this one still bothered him. Mostly because peter had more of control over him then he knew, at least he didnt think peter did. Ashton tried to fight against it as much as possible. He hadnt even known Peter that long, then again it wasnt about time. Thinks with them havent made sense to him from the beginning.

Ashtons hands slid up under Peters shirt, needing to feel his skin even just a little bit. Peter seriously had a nice body and he could admit hes checked it out several times. It wasnt just his ass, that was quite nice as well, but everything. Ashton even liked how clothes looked on him. He wore pants better then anyone he knew. Okay that probably had to do with his ass, but whatever.

Ashton pressed his hips down against Peters. Peter was a little shorter then him, but Ashton liked that. He wasnt sure what it was, but it just seemed right. He seriously needed to stop thinking like that. He was losing the last bit of control he was trying so hard to hold on to. He couldnt let that happen. He wouldnt.

Ashton bit down on his lip again and growled slightly frustrated as he tore himself away abruptly, turning away from Peter and running a hand through his hair. What the fuck...' he was glaring down at a spot on his bed, his breathing slightly heavy. What was he doing. He should get back in there, strip his clothes of..., no! He needed to walk away. H e shouldnt have given in, in the first place. Ashtons brows furrowed together, he could still feel his skin on the tips of his fingers.

"I cant....' he stopped and then turned to face him. "Thats it... I need... we... I.. his lips thinned into a firm line. "Sex. Thats what its about. Thats all its about. he placed his hands on his hips. This between us..' he used his hand to guesture between them. "This... is just sexual tension. Because I am obviously attracted to you and you...' he shrugged. "You've had sex with me before so you must be as well. But its sex thats it...' he repeated. "Do you understand? Do you agree?" maybe if he agreed that it was just sex, that hey could be friends with benefits or something, then maybe this would be solved. It wasnt anything more then sex. It couldnt be... he wouldnt let it be. Anything more was too dangerous and besides this was for the best. He was only looking out for Peter. He couldnt let him get tangled up with him. They could have sex, they could share hobo and... yeah okay so they could be friends as well... but thats it! No more!</sup>

[PETER WALKER]

It had been a long time since Peter had felt the way he did. Every touch, every kiss, every time their bodies met Peter felt a burning sensation tear through his entire body. Peter returned the kiss as if Ashton were his only reason for existing. This feeling he felt was so different, so intense, so… inspiring. As Ashton’s hands moved to his waist, closing in what little distance there was between them, Peter felt held back. He wanted to push Ashton back to the bed, crawl on top of him and just be with Ashton. The sex didn’t seem all that important as long as he could be with Ashton. This felt strange to Peter. As much as he loved the feeling, it felt foreign and different. So long he had been trying to compare Ashton to Alex, but that wasn’t possible anymore. Something about Ashton had surpassed Alex on so many levels. But Peter couldn’t think straight while Ashton was kissing him. Every time he thought he reached one conclusion his thoughts would be jumbled again as Ashton would do something else no matter how small the action.

The intensity was increased as Ashton pushed him against the wall. Peter’s fingers trailed down over Ashton’s back, gripping and clawing gently as he could feel Ashton’s body even closer to his. He loved the feeling that Ashton was giving him. The funny thing was that Peter’s feelings weren’t just physical. Sure he reacted physically, moving his hands around Ashton’s waist, running them under his shirt, clawing at his chest, but there was something else that was there that Peter couldn’t express. Even if Peter were to express it, then he wasn’t so sure it would be taken well. Eve Peter was slightly shocked that he felt the way he did. After spending so much time in denial… why should he not be able to claim it? This seemed like the perfect opportunity for Peter to finally realize something in him and actually use it in the right situation. He didn’t have to worry about feeling like he was taking advantage of Ashton’s being drunk or high because Ashton wasn’t any of those things. At least Peter couldn’t taste it if he were.

Something absolutely unexpected happened. Ashton ripped himself away, cursing loudly. Peter felt his jaw drop. He didn’t know what to think about Ashton’s sudden outburst. He wanted desperately to pull Ashton into a kiss and tell him it was okay, everything was okay. Peter didn’t want Ashton to think they were doing anything wrong because they weren’t. He was already reasoning things out in his head, thinking of all the different things he could tell Ashton just so that he could hold him in his arms again. Ashton single-handedly destroyed those thoughts when he said something that completely broke Peter’s heart. Sex was what it was all about? Peter didn’t want to believe it. He leaned against the wall, staring at the floor. What was he supposed to do? How was he supposed to react? Peter just couldn’t wrap his mind around it. He had been so trusting in Ashton. But why? It wasn’t like Ashton had done anything to prove he could be trusted. Peter just went and blindly trusted Ashton more than he normally did with people… enough to sleep with him.

Peter tried to draw in a deep breath, but it came in broken up. He felt like his heart had stopped. Ashton kept going and Peter kept breaking. It was a complete reply of the past. Suddenly he could remember Alex approaching him after Peter had found him in the arms of another boy, trying to tell him that their relationship was over, but they could still have sex. The words ‘sexual tension’ and ‘all about sex’ repeated themselves in his head. Leave. That was what Peter’s mind told him. His escape last time had been to leave all of that behind. But Peter wasn’t so sure he could make himself leave St. John’s. Was it worth being completely homeless again? Probably not. Peter needed to do something. The anger was starting to become even more overwhelming as the sadness. He didn’t know which part he needed to show Ashton, but he had a feeling both of them would end up showing anyway. Peter wasn’t able to hide his emotions that well. His eyes were always a dead giveaway.

Finally looking up, Peter focused his intense brown eyes on Ashton. His eyes were always a little darker when he was upset about something. “No,” Peter said in a hard tone, “No, I don’t agree. Not this time.” Peter looked away, trying to cover up just how upset he really was. Why should he be upset? Obviously Ashton didn’t have much consideration for his feelings. “I… it’s not… just…” He didn’t know what to say to Ashton. Peter didn’t think he could be in the same room as Ashton. He needed air or something. “Nevermind.” He said darkly as he just turned and walked out of the room. Peter had left Hobo, but then he had planned on letting Hobo stay with Ashton for a little bit anyway, but more importantly, Peter had left Eleanor. He didn’t think he would need the guitar anyway. It wasn’t like he would be able to play after that. Peter didn’t stop at his room. He needed to go somewhere he could be relatively alone.